It’s the Process, not Outcome…

Begin with the end in mind. Know where you want to go. What is your personal journey? What path are you walking down? Is it the path less traveled, or is it a well-worn street? Where are you on your journey?

So often we worry about our plans for tomorrow… or we waste so much time planning for our future. Am I about to tell you not to? NO. I am a planner, a dreamer, a wisher. I always like to set goals and strive to achieve each and every one of them. So no, I am not telling you to stop all of that. That would be crazy….

Or would it? I often think about this and have internal fights with myself. I have asked the question of my athletes who sit in the chairs in my office, I have asked coaches and players, parents and kids… I have asked myself. I have looked in the mirror and asked.

I have gotten every answer I could find. So what….? What is it about goal setting and planning for the future that hangs us all up. That freezes us sometimes to take action?

I have started to get really good at living in the moment. I learned it the hard way. I have lost a lot in my life, and know I will continue to as I get older. I have learned how to let go of the tangible, I have spent hours in Barnes and Noble reading, soul searching, finding ME. I never even knew I was lost.  Why do we have such a hard time just letting go and letting things happen in our lives? Why do we suffer from the need to control outcome?

I see it in the athletes I serve. So worried about stats and wins/losses, and what the end result will be, that they forget to play the game. And as a result, they play poorly. So instead, we work on playing in the moment. We talk about three of my mantra words: Be Here Now.

Have you ever been truly present? Really? In the moment, with no worries about the past or future. You were there…. every thought and action devoted to 3:52 on a Tuesday afternoon in October, 2009. And then when 3:52 was over, you gave everything you could to 3:53… knowing that you will never live it again. What I have found out is that we never get these moments back… and when we lose people in our lives, it’s another minute closer to the reality that we will all die someday. Sorry if that seemed like a slap in the face, but it’s real and honest. We are so afraid to talk about death because we have a hard time accepting it. As soon as we learn to let go of outcome and focus solely on our present moment, the fear is gone. We aren’t afraid of what we don’t know because we aren’t focused there. We give everything we have to everything we do. And it becomes good enough. So we push on…. and even if 3:54 isn’t a good minute, or a productive one, we trade it for another one, and so on.

This is the process of living. This is what we forget how to do so often…
We worry so much about the end result that we forget to live… WHY?
It’s like all the people I know who wish away 5 days of the week just to have 2. Why do we do that? I can’t say that I do, however because all 7 days of the week are the same to me. I do what I love with people I enjoy to be around…. so I never wish any of my days away. Time to question it? Perhaps…. I am just being real today. And if this is hard to read, if you find your self adjusting to find a comfortable spot in your seat, then good. I got the response I was looking for. Because in reality, these moments that you don’t get back? They are all you have. Don’t waste them or wish them away. Trade them for something worthwhile.After all is said and done, it’s the process not outcome that matters.Now you know…
Time for a mirror test?
Make sure you are happy with what you see when you look in your eyes.
How are you living your dash?
You have this minute right now to use how you wish. Don’t waste it.
It’s 4:01pm, Tuesday October 26th, 2009. This is the only one we get.
Trade it wisely.  Then let it go.
It’s now 4:02.

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